I couldn’t get the right feelings that struck me of being so preoccupied by means of socializing with other people. It wasn’t that easy to awaken from my nightmares. I went on searching for new one, but it seemed to be like nothing really change. It was confusing things I don’t deserve, but I don’t hold a choice. I rather imagine incredible things rather than staying from unpredictable reliance. Although it was sounding like rejuvenating myself image and changing my whole being but it wasn’t satisfying my whole personality.

I was trying to imagine and came to a point of being unproven by such undeniable death defying feelings that drove me away from being so uneven peace of mind. Regrettably, my heart fluctuates in mysterious ways, but I don’t have a choice, though life is a choice. Everything happens for a reason and nothing to worry about, perhaps I have anxieties, but it just a usual thing, that nothing to marvel.

I was trying to avoid freeing me from an affliction, but ironically unexpected situation is coming closer. I don’t realize the scenario, although time tried to elucidate it to me and come to my senses that it reveals. But still I don’t mind it even to a point of existing it to the corner of my head, your charm, your beautiful grin, your funny facial expression when I tend to scold you. But still I don’t care because of anger that fester out and try to revenge, but nonetheless I can’t make it.

I can’t imagine that someday you will be at the other hand and feel uplifted. Forgetting every single memory that we both have assured. A grin that reminded us how grateful we are to have each other. In any case, another damn story if that will happen.

People say move on don’t just rely on it, but I can’t conceal myself, how will I move on if I’m no longer being active? Anyway, I’m only kidding. Seriously, moving on is just an easy one, it doesn’t require a big effort for you to go on. But what suffers most is being left behind and memories that you both knows. If I can just forget right away every single detail when we were still together, probably I’d realized I don’t truly love you so much. Only it wasn’t, you are and you were. My mouth utter unnecessary mean, but my heart say’s nothing really have altered.

If I could just hunt down and hide everything, I will do it to avoid people jeopardizing my life, but it wasn’t that easy though, they’re just concern toward possibilities happenings. It’s barely a right thing to ponder, an elucidation that I must understand for my Dream’s sake and bright future ahead.



One comment

  1. Ariel,

    Often, it is in our deepest pain where the most beautiful, heartfelt words are said.

    Ariel, someday soon you will find the woman who will make your heart happy again. Someday soon. Who knows you have already met her, you just don’t realize it yet.

    Remember that love, though only experienced in a fleeting, puzzling moment, can still be felt as something deep and real.

    Just like you, I pray soon that we already find what we are seeking. ❤


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